


She's Red Team

by JadeTiger



Category: Red vs. Blue
Genre: Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-08
Updated: 2017-09-08
Packaged: 2018-12-25 08:15:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 984
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12031833
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeTiger/pseuds/JadeTiger
Summary: After saving Chorus and moving into the new bases on the moon for a little R&R Sarge tries to convince Wash that Carolina is actually a member of 'Red Team', and he's got some strong evidence to back it up! Humor, short, funny,





	She's Red Team

It was peaceful on the moon where they had moved. The battle for Chorus was finally over and now the two teams could take a moment to relax. As much as two teams that have spent nearly all of their existence fighting one another could relax.

"I sure do!" hollered a stern voice. The local wildlife now accustom to the random shouting and explosions continue on with their daily routine.

"NO you don't! We don't have teams anymore! We're one team!" Wash exclaims in frustration. The argument had been going on for nearly an hour by now. Grif had convinced Simmons to go out to look for some wild plants to eat. Carolina was helping Doughnut painting the walls in Red Base a more 'calmer' shade of 'lightish red'. Caboose had left to go play with his new dinosaur pets, and no one had seen Tucker all day. Also no one was looking.

"For the moment, but when it comes right down to it, Carolina is Red Team!" Sarge persist. They are both sitting at the kitchen table table in blue base. The fridge had died sometime during the night and Grif had taken it upon himself that morning to empty it. The garbage can in the corner over flowing with empty containers and wrinkled food wrapper. A fly or two buzzed about the pile happily. The ceiling lights cast the room into a funny glow that twitch every few minutes as one of the bulbs slowly died.

Playing cards in hand and poker faces on under their helmets. Sarge reaches out and picks a card from Washes hand. He lets out a breath of air when he doesn't pull the old maid.

"And how to you know that?" Wash asks pulling a card from Sarges hand and cursing his bad luck. He's better at black jack.

"Er.. umm... *cough* ah, that's not important," Sarge answers happy he's wearing his helmet. His face becoming nearly the same colour at his armour at the memory.

"I think it is Sarge, tell me why you think Carolina would be on your team?" Wash pushes the topic. He wasn't the one who brought the subject up but he was determined to end it. Sarge picks another card and discards the matching one from his hand. Wash wonders how he's managed to lose three consecutive games to this fool.

"... I don't think I should," Sarge mutters.

"Tell me!" Wash demands frustrated at the stubbornness of the Red Team leader. Sarge shifts in his chair. He glances around the room quickly making sure no one else is in ear shot before leaning in.

"Well... You remember when Tucker activated the temple?" he asks Wash quietly.

"The temple of communications?" Wash asks trying to get what the other man is saying.

"The one after that,"

"I.. oh..." the dawning of realization sinking in. His jaw hangs open gasping at the Red Team captain a few feet away.

"She's Red Team under that blue armour Wash, sorry to burst your bubble," he says with a chuckle as he pulls the last card her needs from Wash's hand to win the game.

Wash doesn't even notice that his cards have slipped from his fingers, scattering across the table, the old maid mocking him from the paper.

...

Sarge closes the door behind him making sure not to wake Dr. Gray. He staggers naked down the hall to the public bathroom not bothering to shut the door behind him. It's just hanging off the broken hinges anyway.

The dimly lit room is set up with the basics for anyone. Towels hanging on a rail on the far wall, next to a shelf housing small bottles and jars of soap, shampoo, conditioner, along with two random hairbrushes that haven't been cleaned in a long time. Around the corner there is the steady drip, drip, drip from one of the shower heads in the old shower stalls. The sound echoing off the bare walls around him.

Looking at himself in the cracked mirror he takes inventory of the scratches on his back and the line of bite marks the good doctor had left on his right arm. She's was indeed as feisty as she was crazy. He grins to himself remembering a few new things she had taught him. Reaching down he pulls out a disposable toothbrush from the drawer and starts to brush his teeth. The chemically enhanced imitation 'mint' flavor doing little to relieve the morning breath.

Another naked person enters the room; wincing in the light, they staggers over to stand next to him in front of the mirror. Red hair tangled and stuck to her skin from sweat and saliva. She's missing the scratches and bite marks he has, but she's got a noticeable limp and it's not from the recent wound on the upper right thigh, and there is a light bruise that looks suspiciously like a hand print forming on her right hip.

She splashes some water on her face before picks up another toothbrush from the drawer and starts to brush her teeth. They are silent just doing their own thing when Sarge smirks. Followed close behind by a chuckle and then a full blown laugh. He leans over the sink in an attempt to spit the toothpaste into the basin and not the counter top as he tries not to choke on his laughter. The women next to him just watches the man break down mentally for a minute before finally curiosity gets the better of her.

"What's so funny?" Carolina asks pausing mid brush.

"You're Red Team!" he chokes out guesting to her lower half. It takes Carolina a moment to realize what he means.

Sarge made a mental note when he woke up on the bathroom floor a few minutes later that, yes, you can knock someone out with a toothbrush if it's thrown hard enough.


End file.
